If I Was a Proper Mother...

I would be bothered when my two year old preferred to be naked. In the front yard.

I wouldn't just sigh and say "put them on anyway, it's just the grocery store" when we discover that the only two shoes that we can find for four year old Judah don't match.

I would not try to reason that ice-cream makes for a healthier breakfast than most of the cereals on the store shelf. Especially if it is strawberry ice-cream (more vitamins) and especially if it is Blue Bell (more creaminess must mean more calcium, right?)

I would try harder to discourage my teen-aged daughters from discussing goat breeding in the potluck line at church just to freak out the boys.

I wouldn't encourage the kids that a barbie head makes a great car antenna decoration. (What can I say, we were studying the French Revolution...)

I would be bothered more by the items on the roof of the house.

I would be hunting for only the best educational toys rather than letting them be convinced that the 5 acres of woods are adventure enough.

Vacations wouldn't be focused around where we can pick up the latest addition to the herd. (the goat herd, this is not an announcement)

My children's favorite music wouldn't be from the 50's--the 1850's--and when asked who their favorite actor is they wouldn't answer "Errol Flynn".

I would sing "Jesus Loves Me" to my four month old baby, not the Coyote song from "Hank the Cowdog". ("We don’t give a hoot, we don’t ever wear a suit. We’re nothing but animals, outrageous cannibals, we don't give a hoot!")

If I was a proper mother...

I guess I wouldn't have twelve children.